A Phone Message I Wrote That My Roomate Would Not Leave For The UVA Newspaper
I must say, if there's one thing I love - it's The Man.
Not just any normal man is he; nay!
He is the slayer of justice, the foundation of corporate america, the crusher of our fragile ecosystem.
You can find him each and every day, hiding in the sweatshop-produced sneakers you wear and the athsma-inducing oxygen you breathe.
He censors your videogames and speaks for your God.
He is the name brand of your clothing and the source of your credit card.
He syndicates your television shows, franchises your restaurants.
He criminalizes your liberties and deifies your currency.
He crafts your designer t-shirts, poisons your sky, fragments your privacy, and gives life to killer robots.
KILLER ROBOTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AAAIEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!
ROOOBOOOOTSSSSS!!!!!! AAAARRRGHHHH!!!!!
Soma would start violently ripping his hair out of his tender scalp since no one gives him articles, but Nature is doing that herself.