Kroger's Cashier Eats Boy
D. Brandao

I, the unsuspecting boy aforementioned in the title, ventured out for a certain product known in certain circles as "Q-Tips" this afternoon. I used the bus, a form of transportation for which I do not have to pay, to travel to Kroger's, a grocery store of questionable value. After wandering around, I, being a starving college student short on cash, opted for the store brand of Q-Tips.

Price: $1.59

After wandering around for a few more minutes, I took my Q-Tips up to the front of the store. Since I didn't have enough change to pay for the tax &c., I had decided to use a five-dollar bill. I took out the five-dollar bill and my Kroger's Plus Shopper's Card. The card, I previously noted, reduced the price of the Q-Tips by $0.60

Price: $0.99

The cashier, a young female not much older than myself, looked like she had a cold or some other form of sickness. I plopped the Q-Tips onto the conveyor belt and recieved the standard "Will this be all for you?" Giving the standard half-grunt in reply, I waited for her to check the item. The total flashed up on the monitor:

Price: $1.03

I handed the cashier the Card and the five-dollar bill. She semi-cheerily said "You saved sixty cents on this trip!" and handed me my Q-Tips, my change, and my receipt. As I walked out the door, I noticed I had not received the expected $3.93 in change, but rather $8.93 in change.

Price: $-3.93?!

Walking toward the bus stop, I wondered how such a mistake could have been made. Could the cashier have grabbed the five dollar bill by mistake? No, the separate denominations of bills are in separate drawer slots. I couldn't resolve the question just by speculation, so I checked the bill. Yes, the price of the item is right, but... oh, wait! She said that I gave her $10.00!

Suddenly, doubts plagued my mind. Had I grabbed a $10 by mistake? Was my wallet really that poorly organized? If so, where was my mind going?

Thoughts like this were getting me nowhere. So, I finally decided that I had, in fact, handed the cashier a $5, and she just thought that I was incredibly good-looking and decided to give me some of Kroger's money in an effort to get me to go out with her.

Price: Priceless

The moral of the story is: Try to be incredibly good-looking like I am. Then people will give you free money and free stuff.