An Open Letter to Harry J. Pierce, Vice Chairman of General Motors, Corp.
Soma

Dear Mr. Pierce,

Wuz ^?? My name is Sally! I am 8 years old now! I was 7 years old for a very long time but now I am 8 years old! How old are you? I bet you are very old!

How is your SRS Airbag Department doing? I heard you were having trouble with decapitations. Do you have any pets? I have 2 dogs! I also have a guinea pig named Boggie! He likes to play in sawdust! Do you have sawdust in your factory that he could have??? IT WOULD MAKE BOGGIE VERY HAPPY!!!!!

I have blond hair! Do you still have hair? Today I got my allowance! It was two dollars! I almost have enough to buy one of your cars! I will not buy your cars because they have very bad resale value! Ha Ha Just kidding! Do your parents give you an allowance??? My daddy said that your stocks are doing very bad. If you ask him maybe he will give you two dollars too!!

The other day i saw these boys and girls in a car and there was 3 of them in the front seat! Don't you think that is ILLEGAL?? My daddy said it is! I hope i never go to jail. Do you want to go to jail? My daddy said that you are so rich he wishes you go to jail! I think he was just kidding, though!

We went to the mall today TWICE!!! We went in the Toyota! Please do not be angry! It has a superior ABS system than any of your cars and an incredibly easy-to-change oil filter! But I want to buy a car you made anyways! Do you make all of the cars yourself?? You seem like a very busy man! I saw a picture of you in the newspaper once! You were busy and sweaty! Do you have to take a lot of showers every day??

My hobbies are ballet and basketball! Do you like ballet? One time i found a turtle! I took care of him for a day but then he ran away! He went so fast I thought he had a Vortex 3000 75HP GM Powertrain engine!

I have to go eat lunch now, WRITE ME BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sincerely,

SALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!